You never promised to make me happy again, after finding me
sad and alone, you just did it
You never promised to be my best friend, you just did it
You never promised to bring me roses, and shower me with gifts
of affection, you just did it
You never promised to give me money when I needed it the
most, you just did it
You never promised to be kind and gentle to me, you just did it
You never promised to hold me tight when I was lonely and
afraid, you just did it
You never promised to fall in love with me, you just did it
You never promised to take care of my family and me, you just
did it
You never promised to make me scream in ecstasy, when we
made love, you just did it
You never promised to be true only to me, you just did it
You never promised to give me your mind, body and soul, you
just did it
You never promised to wait for me, when I left you alone for
someone else, who promise me the world, you almost did it
You never promised to find another, together, forever love, and
leave me in this world of broken promises all alone, you
just did it

Quiet, soft, just above a whisper you breathe, laying still next to me, peacefully laying on your side
Wrapped in my loving arms, holding you from behind
My hand holds on your soft warm breast, while giving it a loving gentle caress
I hear and feel the music of your silent sleep, as you rest while in peace
Believing in me that I will protect you, from all harm and dangers as you sleep
A sign of your upmost respect, as you slumber in your sleep very deep
A lethargic heartbeat is felt on my hands, beating in rhythm of your quiet breathing
Like a bass drum, it keeps everything in time with the rest of your body's music
Up then down your chest keeps in time, as my ear tune in to your inner song of love trust
Gravity pulls my hat to the floor, breaking the silence in the room
Your body orchestra stops as you curl into my body tighter to see if your protector is still there
My hand grips your breast tighter, letting you know I'm here for you
Your body relax and your orchestra picks back up, the tune that it was playing
I tune in once again and once I feel that everything has fallen back into rhythm, my body falls asleep and plays alone with your body's musical song

Attitude

Ones inner turmoil
Ineffectual self worth
Optimistic mood

a Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world
• an English imitation of this.

Why has my life turned so negative, when I use to be such a positive person
Is the thought of losing one more love more than I can imagine
Or, is it I just can't or won't let myself endure one more failed attempt at love
Was our love so deep I can't see past it
Or, is it me without love I can't see
Did I love you more than I love myself, by putting you on a silver platter so you would always shine in my eyes
Now that the silver has tarnish, why do I feel that my life, no longer has its luster
Was this the first love I've lost
Or, was it the first love I fought to keep, but you didn't see enough in me, for you to want to keep me
They say all wounds heal with time, but what if the wound penetrated one's soul
Can you tell me that time will heal it
Or, doesn't anybody really know
I looked up at the heavens, looking at the farthest star, and my mind weeps in agony, as I think about my next love might be as far away as that star
But some say, true love is just around the corner, if you stop letting the loneliness blind your inner worth
How can I find love, when I no longer love myself
I sat down and wrote a poem, to express how I felt all alone
But even when I wrote down all the right answers to my dilemma, my mind is so hell bent to make me feel this loneliness, that I couldn't see the answers sitting right there in front of me
I just need to let go and not let my mind surrender, to all of the thoughts of my painful past
Loneliness is like a expensive wine, it will seduce your mind, body, and soul with time
It's best if I let all these feelings depart from within my mind, so as a person I can grow
How can I find happiness..
If I refuse to let go of the loneliness...

9/17/07

Sometimes I stand and stare in the mirror and I see a wonderful person,
a true friend, a kind person, a nice looking person
But on other days I see the other side of me
It's not cute, nor adorable, just a plain looking person, with a not so attracted attitude
But, am I really mean, or is it on those days I just want to be alone, and by pushing everything and everybody away from me, is the only way I can get the freedom I need
The room my mind need to expand its horizons, the room my body need to stretch so it too can grow
I'm just misunderstood, because I don’t even understand myself at times
I don't understand society, and society doesn't understand me
I don't know why I say or do the things I do, I just know that I do them, and regret it later
Maybe I ask too much of myself, maybe I should enjoy being the person I am, and stop wanting to be the person I am not, I just should just except myself, for who I am
That way, at least I will understand me, if no one else does
Sometimes it's best to be by yourself in deep thoughts, soaking in the silence of night, while looking at the moon and stars, letting them set the tone of my mood
But then there's the other times, where I wish to have someone who truly loves me by my side, soaking up their essence, while their love seeps inside me
I shouldn't feel bad being a confused person, after all, this is a confusing world we live in


4UV